A For Adjustment
Blog NO. - 31
Date - 28 Jan 2018
I was hardly 10 years , when I witnessed a sad incidence. Some distant female relative narrating her marital miseries to my father , a learned respectful person in the society , started sobbing. My father consoled her and asked her to adjust. She was praying for justice and Godly punishment for her husband. I was too young to understand adjustment and punishment.
I grew and matured to understand the emotional aspect of a person 's miseries. In a married life , there are uncounted numbers of examples of adjustment. Be it related to seniors, with father , mother, in-laws, or with Juniors,our children or our ownselves, husband and wife.We do adjustment here and there, for smallest matter or biggest cause.
We are even taught in such a way. In typical gujarati colloquial, we are told to " jatu karwanu shikho" a milder words for adjustment. Between friends, between couples, between family members, where two parties do not agree to a situation, there is always a dead lock and only solution is , one of them is ready to let go
This " let go " feeling is nothing but sacrifice. People talk of adjustment in lightest manner but hide a great sacrifice beneath it. How many times a woman suffering incongnimony of a situation, sacrifices for the sake of the wellbeing of the family and accepts it being an adjustment. How many times, we, the males( MCPs) praisefully accept their sacrifices. Any adjustment is not without a great sacrifice and we have habit to underplay and never to accept and appreciate the sacrifice. The great dilemma of a married life is , how many times, your sacrifices are noticed and duely respected and how many times, they were covered under the carpet of secrecy. If you consider the sacrifice only a feminine prerogative, the marital bond is bound to suffer and a revolt is waiting in the wings.....
So the truth is simple, bitter and sensible:
- (1) Adjustment in life is the appreciable sacrifice of others.
- (2) Do differ, do discuss, do come to a common conclusion.
- (3) Never boast of egoistic victory or opposite defeat. Accept the benevolence of others.
- (4) Try to understand others. Sacrifice from your side is also welcome. And it is never your defeat. Greatness comes in giving.
- (5) Life is a mutual partnership of sorrow and happiness. And you are a winner, if you convert a sorrow into happiness. Adjustment is a real face of a great sacrifice
Yours, ever ready to sacrifice for the friends,
Dr Ajay Shah